dried fish,anyone?

September 9, 2008 by zellejillyroll

a week ago, my cousin came back after her short vacation from the phil…and she brought the most requested ‘pasalubong’ of all time-dried fish!!..well, we came from the visayas island(iloilo) and so we consider it as staple food(esp if you’re short on budget…it’s very expensive to buy filipino goods in here..more than double compared in the states..and dried fish is not really a common thing to find..so i was happy to get my share of her dried fish pasalubong..i always ask for it,anyway…however, there’s a hitch…i wasnt fully aware that foreigners(esp Westerners) abhor the smell of dried fish…they liken its smell to….(censored!)…so we cannot cook it as often as we want to esp if you have foreigners as neighbors coz they can smell it 100meters away…that’s to my dismay!!…and of course, you should NOT warm it up in the microwave either…i usually cook that in my other cousin’s(ive lots of them here^^)house coz her neighbor(and employer) dont mind…but in the phil, whenever there’s someone cooking it, we would often say, “wow,smells good.”…in here, they would say, “that’s nasty”…and flies would come swarming in your kitchen…one time, i took the bus and i carelessly have it in an unzipped bag..gosh, the passenger in front of me, looked back and gave me a quizzical look…so i thought,”oh, he might think ive not taken a shower for a few days”..dried fish turns them off…but isnt SIN like that,too?..no matter how hard we try to keep it, still it gives out an odor…and sometimes we do make our sins appear beautiful…like a “sin-coated” candy..coz sometimes after cooking dried fish, we would spray a deodorizer all over the house, but when someone comes to visit, they would ask if we have cooked dried fish…sinning can turn people off in our life…they’ll say, “that’s nasty”..or they would give us a quizzical look (why did you do it?)…and the smell would always linger…back home, we would appreciate its smell and it’s like when you are sinning and people around you are doing (or others have no concern about you) the same thing, we become oblivious to it…well, nothing is hidden in the eyes of God…if we have sinned, let’s confess it unto the Lord coz He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us ( sweet smelling perfume like no other)from all unrighteousness(1John1:9) and God will just forget all about it(Ps 103:12)…do you know what are the sins that God abhors?adultery,fornication(sex before marriage!),uncleanness,licentiousness,idolatry,sorcery,hatred,contentions,jealousies,outburst of wrath,selfish ambitions,dissensions,heresies,envy,murders,drunkenness,revelries(works of our flesh-Gal 5:19-21)and in Proverbs (6:16-19)God hates a proud look, a lying tongue,, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans,feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren…which one have you checked out for today?dont you want to get clean and smell good for God?..confess your sins and repent…God is just a confession and a prayer away…

“For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.” Matthew 10:26

my energizer bunny!

September 11, 2008 by zellejillyroll

when i was new on the island there was one thing that gave me joy…and whenever i visited any of my cousins i would search for it like a hungry puppy…eventually, i became addicted to it…do you have an idea what it is?…Coke!!..i love coke..it was like an energizer bunny to me..if i can have a drink of it, i can go on and on and on…it perks me up..i could gulp it down from morning til night..i even had a crazy idea of having a coke dispenser instead of a water dispenser in my place..when i drink it, i feel happy and satisfied…so i never followed the advice of drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day..well, i can drink more than 8 cans of coke a day…sometimes i am surprised because i can finish a big bottle(2 li) of coke in less than an hour…such an addiction…and so everytime i would check any of my cousin’s fridge, they’d tell me, “hey, ive saved a bottle of coke for you.” they spoil me^^however, early this year, i was glued watching a program on bbc america..it is a good program coz it promotes healthy eating and lifestyle as well…it’s called, “you are what you eat”…the host of the show is a nutritionist herself…she would come into ”rescuing” someone who has an unhealthy eating habit..and most of the time these people are extremely obese, unfamiliar with the word “exercise” ,others were strangers to what a vegetable is and would eat chips, chocolates, fry ups, beers and soda!!..and so i was taken aback because it hits me on the head…i was living an unhealthy lifestyle..i noticed that no matter how much i drink of it, my thirst is never quenched(contrary to their slogan!)…and do you know that you can clean your toilet bowl with coke??(i learned this from a tv program that comes on after “you are what you eat”)..yup, it can make your toilet bowl pearly-looking..because it contains phosphoric acid…i was shocked! it means im cleaning my gut!..making it like a white-washed tomb..so i needed to clean-up my act..i vowed to myself just to drink water…only water…my cousins(and nieces) were surprised when i told them that ive stopped drinking coke…and you know what? it feels good to drink water..it cleanses and it can really quench your thirst…well, ive to admit that i drink coke but maybe just once a week esp during the weekend…but i was able to break my old habit of drinking it as long as i want…i remember a passage in the Bible that says,”but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life” (John 4:14)..yup, Christ is our fountain of Living Water…when we receive Him in our life He will be our energizer bunny that makes us go on and on and on….no need of charging and supply lasts through eternity!!..

“Those who depart from Me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the Lord, The Fountain of Living Water” (Jeremiah 17:13)

in High Definition!

September 15, 2008 by zellejillyroll

Two saturday nights before last i had a hard time getting to sleep…i didnt do much that day…i just went to town…and let my eyes feast on things here and there…actually, i was disappointed over something…i thought i could get it done that day..but i went home upset…well, inorder to drown my bleak mood, i made a cup of coffee with milk and had donut with it(that was my dinner^^)..i usually refrain from drinking coffee late in the afternoon because it makes me awake all whole night…i thought i could sleep well after all the hardship that i went through that day…i really have no problem sleeping…once my head touches the pillow, im out like a light…sleeping well at night is bliss to me…but it was different that night…i kept checking my digital clock and before i knew it, it was already 12midnight…oh boy, i need to sleep,i told myself…then i thought of watching a movie…however, i had watched all of my dvds countless times that i could memorize the characters dialogues…so i ditched that idea out…maybe i need to listen to music…and so i took my ipod out…and an idea hits me…when you are abroad you get to appreciate your roots…being patriotic that is…and so i decided to listen to music which will define my being a filipino…songs that could embody not just my being but almost all filipinos wherever they maybe…so i wanted it to be in a chronological order…and the first song that came to my mind was a song from mr yoyoy villame, “magellan”..that song is history in a nutshell…that was penned in a unique way..of course, with humor injected into it…if a foreigner would asked me how the philippines was etched on the globe, i would tell him to listen to that song…well, whenever a filipino meets his fellow filipino abroad, they would never miss to ask, “taga saan ka sa atin?”- where are you from back home?…and if they would asked me that, i felt like singing, iloilo ang banwa ko nga ginhingadlan…matam-is nga pulong ang akon gin…(please supply the missing word- i cant remember it)…dili ko ikaw bulagan..banwa ko nga gin…. ikaw ang gintunaan sang kalipayan..how about that??…well, we are a country composed of more than 7000 islands(that’s right! be it high tide or low tide^^)..so i shouldnt miss out any province for that matter…once again, mr yoyoy villame has an answer for that…his song, “national geography” didnt miss out a thing…such ingenuity!!..i remember memorizing every province from region 1 down to the armm region when i was in grade school but now i couldnt place a province to its region except my own region, region 6…i couldnt even give a straight answer as to the first 8 provinces that revolted against spain and was later represented on our flag(8 rays of the sun-is it 8 or 12? pardon my ignorance and forgetfulness)…how about the youths of today who dont seem to care of our history and struggle to become an independent nation…these young people who were born in a time of rap music and noise.. how about those youngsters born and raised abroad?..whatever they call themselves- fil-am, fil-italian, fil-canadian, fil-chinese, fil-kor(isnt this a car repair shop in iloilo?^^) their pure-blooded friends would still call them filipinos…how can they appreciate where they come from?(well, apol of the group ‘black-eyed peas’ would often mix filipino words in their songs-meaning he always recognizes his being filipino)…remember the song, “man from manila’ by francis m?..i think they would give time to listen to that…that’s a nice song…i consider francis m as one intelligent rapper…other rappers would just babble anyway…well, filipinos are thriving anywhere…we are pretty prolific..who would have imagined that we could be working here in the middle of the atlantic ocean…and when we are abroad, we really do our best…we give 101% to our job…however, for every filipino overseas worker, no matter where we are, we would always long to be home and home is the philippines..there’s no place like home…and another song came to mind….’manila’ by the hotlegs and was revived later by my one and only band(though they disbanded), the eraserheads!for sure, we miss the noise, traffic, confusion, dust,sweltering heat and the beauty of the philippines which always shines through (phillipine airlines?^^)…a few years ago, a new song predominated the airwaves from morning til night that even foreigners loved its melody and rhythm-though they didnt fully understand it…it was the song, “pinoy ako’ by orange and lemons…young and old alike sang that song with gusto…it was an ost for pinoy big brother…and when its new season opened, another song stirred every piece of our being- “sikat ang pinoy.”…i am a filipino and i will always be one!..there are a lot of issues to be addressed back home but we can’t deny where we came from…those are the songs that i think can define us…seemingly, those songs made me nostalgic…but it made me smile…and after listening to those songs i had a splitting headache…and when i checked the time, it was already 215 am..gosh…i needed to sleep because i should attend worship service the following day(well, i got up late and was not able to attend it…and it made me feel guilty the whole day)…but i should say this, one day when we come face to face with God these things won’t matter…God doesnt give importance to our race, color, religion, sex,educational background and social status…He will only ask us one thing, “have you accepted my Son, Jesus Christ, in your life and His gift of salvation?”….what will your answer be?…and if you love to sing, dont worry, we will sing 24 hours in heaven for our King(REv 4)…not the kind of jamming music(noise!) that we know but music that sends an aroma unto His throne!that my friend, is heavenly concert in High Definition!!

“for our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ….”-Philippians 3:20

o v e r d r i v e….

September 21, 2008 by zellejillyroll

do you know how to drive?(i dont expect you to drive that thing like sandra bullock did in the movie speed 1^^…)-just a 4-wheel vehicle, you know what i mean?..or do you long to drive?..back in the philippines, ive never driven a car or any vehicle except for a pedal bike and a rickshaw (”trisikad”)..but i was requested to learn driving here in bermuda as a part of my job…before i used to think that i’d never drive unless ive my own personal driver…i was just too scared thinking of the road horrors in the philippines not to mention reckless and angry drivers who are always on the loose…however, when i got here, i needed to muster my guts to drive or else i could lose my job-(something that i dont want to happen)…boy, can you imagine how long ive dedicated myself to learn it?..it took 3 seasons for me to get my license- winter, spring, summer!!..getting a driver’s license was such a big challenge for a 1st-timer like me..it just didnt test my patience and courage but it bore a BIG hole in my pocket,too..gosh! i was exasperated!…here in bermuda, inorder to acquire a driver’s license, you need to pass a written test and the yard test (parallel parking, horizontal and reverse parking) before you can go out on the road for the actual test…everyone who wants to drive here needs to pass those tests eventhough you possess a driver’s license from your country of origin..and one more thing that makes it a challenge to learn driving here is that the roads are too narrow and sharp…ah…i almost forget, cars here are driven on the right hand side-just like in the united kingdom and australia(well, bermuda is a british territory, so this could explain the similarity)…ive to admit that after i was able to get the hang of it, ive enjoyed and appreciated driving..it cuts your time and zoom! you can go anywhere you like-catching a ride is not as accessible as in the phil where jeepneys are everywhere…here, you need to walk for quite a distance and wait at the nearest bus stop…it is such a pain to catch a bus especially on sundays and holidays…and bus drivers dont seem to rush ive observed…but there was a hitch when i was able to obtain a driver’s license….my employer’s car needed repair…actually, until now her car still sits on her grandson’s yard needing repair… i got my license alright, but i didnt have a car to drive on…and it’s been more than a year of waiting for it….well, nothing is really wasted…im about to start a new job and a car is waiting for me….so yesterday my new employer encouraged me to freshen up my driving skill…after much prodding, i test drove it with a filipino friend and my niece..actually, they just wanted to buy a few things in a nearby convenience store and they asked me to drive the car for that…i got mixed emotion as a walked towards the car-excitement, apprehension and nervousness sat in…and when we were about to go out of the driveway, i slammed the accelerator instead of the brake..boy!! it made a loud screech…good thing we were not on the main road yet…and my “half-willing” passengers gave out a loud scream…they were scared to death(literally and figuratively speaking^^)…i was a bit apprehensive because i am not familiar with the road on that side of the island…as i was driving, they were telling me to step on the gas because i was running to slow and some cars who couldnt wait had speedily overtaken us…there were times that i would go fast and they would tell me to go slow…well, i still kept my cool and focused on the road…deep inside i know i could do it…and when we came home, the three of us just gave out a sigh of relief…relieved to be home-safe and sound, they say^^..”thank you, Lord, was all we could say…somehow i felt funny inside of me..but later, i realized something deeper and true…are we also behaving like this in our walk with the Lord????..i mean, if you have accepted the Lord in your life and we let Him take over…letting the Lord get hold of the reigns of our life…Him being the driver and we are just passengers…Once we are born-again, it’s not US who lead our life but we’ve given God full authority to take charge…Or do we “accept” God and still act like backseat drivers- telling when to go slow or fast when we meet certain challenges in our every day life….or do we only enjoy the ride when God is giving us the fullness and sweetness of life??…do we become disagreeable when He wants to give a full turn or needs to go back up in our life saying, “Lord, what are you doing? where are you taking me?”…or does this mean that we dont TRUST the All-Knowing One for the plans that He has for us?…God is our Creator and FAther…He only knows what lies ahead and He knows what’s best for His children…whether the ride is pleasant, bumpy,or it’s taking some time, let’s take heart, He knows every by-ways and high ways…!!Only in His hands that we can be safe!!

“when you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.” - Isaiah 43:2

my new-found friend^^

my new-found friend^^

September 24, 2008 by zellejillyroll

a few months after i came here in bermuda, ive acquired a new bestfriend…they say you cant buy friends but i did^^..it cost me nearly two hundred dollars to befriend her…life here is toooooooooooo boring so i needed to get a new friend…right after work, there’s really nothing to look forward to except sleep and to mark as each day passes by…well, you can cover the whole island(from end to end) in just a few hours…that’s how small the island is unlike in iloilo where you can unwind or cool down a bit in the malls or eat-out after work…here, it’s a different story..stores and even gasoline stations are closed after 5pm - except for grocery stores and a handful of restaurants in town..sundays and holidays are worst because almost all business establishments are closed - others would open at 1-5pm only!!…and most buses dont run as late(?!) as 615 pm..see? who wouldnt be bored??!! and as ive mentioned in my past blogs, every thing here costs quite a fortune so why bother spending?(can you imagine buying a gift wrapper at $3 each?..so how much is that in phil peso??!!..that’s why we sometimes recycle gift bags^^)..but when i got my new bestfriend, wow, it kept me company when im done for the day…actually, our friendship only lasted for more than a year…i was too demanding of her that it gave up on me…our friendship is way beyond repair…so, i had to let it go…actually, i miss my bestfriend…it’s been 3 to 4 months that i havent seen her…one time in church, there was this little colored girl seated right in front of me and she was getting restless…she was with her parents and her mother had given her books and some cookies for her to be still..but it didnt make a difference…we had a guest preacher that morning and as always i was listening attentively (take note that when we are in church we need to focus on what the minister is talking because he represents God in our midst…God is talking to us through our pastors and priests..so, would we allow distractions when we are face-to-face with God? Selah.)..there was no sunday school that time so i was sure that the li’l girl’s parents were having a hard time to hush her…then a few minutes later, i noticed that her mother took out something from her duffle bag that made the li’l one quiet…eventhough i barely caught sight of it i knew what it was…it was my bestfriend!…er…we have the same bestfriend!!…i felt a tug in my heart upon seeing it…who(what^^) was my bestfriend?…a portable dvd player!!^^..that girl and i had the same brand of dvd player!..why do i call it my bestfriend?..well, i remember when i was teaching koreans before…at each start of our class, they would take their electronic dictionary out and they would introduce it as their “bestfriend”…now i fully understand their predicament then…i used my dvd player not just to watch movies but to listen to my Bible study cds as well…i brought a lot of dvds when i went home last december..it consisted mostly of korean dramas and movies (i got one dvd-a collection of matt damon’s movies because i like him a LOT!)…i got hooked watching korean dramas/movies only here in bermuda..there used to be an asian (AZN) channel on cable (but they scraped it out) and it featured a lot of korean dramas…too bad it only featured one tv program from the philippines-” the world tonight”…others are telling me that maybe im hooked to korean dramas becaused i used to teach koreans! nope! when i was still in the language school, my friends and co-teachers would rant and rave about this and that korean drama…and i was just clueless( though ive to admit that i watched “winter sonata” and a bit of “full house”- but only those two,ok)..so it’s just out of boredom that got me addicted to it…the reason i think is because koreans can create unique and beautiful plots that you couldnt predict what comes next….and they dont show too much flesh…not driven by burning passion which is not likely the case in many filipino dramas…one thing that irks me about many filipino dramas (not to mention its hallmark longetivity!!) is that characters are consumed by much hatred, jealousy and envy that they would hunt for someone’s head and in the end you’ll be surprised to see a “dead’ character resurrected..tsk..tsk…not too plausible, right?..going back, it’s not just me who’s hooked watching korean dramas but my other cousins as well…during the weekend, we would talk about what we watched and check on how late we’d go to bed…we even compared ourselves to zombies^^…the story is sooooo good that you couldn’t turn it off nor could you go to the bathroom and pee…can you guess how late i’d go to bed?..you had no idea!!..ive watched “my girl” from 7pm to 5am(you couldnt finish the whole series in a night)…who can beat that?…i felt like having a 24-hour duty in the hospital again…and there was even a time when i took the bus and it seemed to me that passengers are talking in korean!..weird that i wanted to slap myself that moment…i think that’s because i was watching too much of it..but God has a way of making me realize what i was doing and it hit me when my dvd wouldnt play anymore…yup, it gave up on me because if that dvd could talk, im sure it would yell at me and tell me to leave her alone…there were times that it would stuck up but still i’d poke it and give the lens it’s own dose of cleaning which i shouldnt do, right?..i remember pointing the vacuum’s nozzle thinking i could suck the dirt out!!..i was too desperate to use it continuously!..well, it’s of no use now- i need to buy a new one…but when it got broken God made me realize that i was spending(and wasting) too much time on it and ive pushed God from His number 1 place in my life..ive made an idol out of my dvd player..what is an idol?..it’s not just an image, statue or picture that we put or hang on a wall and we revere it…but an idol is a thing or person that we devote most of our time…it could be our work…school….loved ones/partner in life….hobbies….celebrities/personalities….nokia, samsung, lg, motorolla,black(blue,rasp^^)berry cp…pc/laptop,notebook…money…and yes, oftentimes, that thing that sits in our living room- our tv set!!…as long as we push God out for something or someone, then that’s our idol…God wants to commune with us…He wants His children to talk to Him and spend wonderful quality tiime with Him…How will we know Him and His will if we are spending less and less time with Him and His Word? i still miss my dvd player but never again will i make it a stumbling block in my relationship with God…we must continually seek God and put Him right on His throne!!

“I am the Lord your God…you shall have no other gods before Me. you shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.”- exodus 20:1-5

“take heed to yourselves, lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them.”- deuteronomy 11:16